Happy To Be Right Where I Am :)

I am happy to be right where I am. That feels so good to say and, more importantly, it feels so good to really feel this way. I have spent most of my life trying to be somewhere or someone else. While out for a run last week with my husband and two of my three children, I encountered this concept and it felt great. All of them were way ahead of me and instead of judging myself and my running and feeling bad about being "behind", these words floated right into my head. I played with them for a moment, tossing them around, and then began to smile big time. Yes! These words are spectacular! These words bring about a huge feeling of acceptance, peace, and contentment throughout my entire body. And, Yes! These words, when I apply them to my life, are completely liberating. I can stop "trying" to change what is and I can actually participate with and simply embrace what is.......to love each moment exactly as it is and to not get caught up in the need to change it, is something I am on board with :) It is like a golden ticket to freedom......because if I don't judge or fight with where I am, I can actually exist fully in that moment instead.

This really goes along nicely with accepting myself exactly as I am. I have discovered that this is a much bigger concept than I had originally thought. And for a long time, I didn't really get it and, thus, couldn't really apply it either. Lucky for me, I have the most amazing and gracious people in my life to show me what I am ready to see. They showed me that I was not really claiming parts of myself...parts that I really wanted to know and to claim. I had chosen instead to define myself in a very safe, simple, and one dimensional way. I had chosen to judge and deny parts of myself and this was closing me off to some important parts of life that I wanted to experience. As a result of this choice, deep down I was becoming very angry, frustrated, unhappy, and unbalanced. You see, I have come to think that being "balanced" is really being open to and embracing unconditionally all parts of ourselves. I am not meant to shut away parts of myself; the parts that I had been taught to judge and define as bad, but that are also actually the parts that frankly help me to feel the most alive. I am meant to be my all and to live my all. That to me means letting go of the need to even define myself at all. Defining myself limits me from ever meeting me in full....it boxes me in and closes me off from discovery and expansion. It separates me from living the full me.....I immediately cease to exist when I label and define myself. I truly think we are addicted to labeling and defining everything and we do this out of fear and the need to try to keep everything so neat and organized and safe. I, frankly, find that I begin to suffocate and to become my most anxious when I define things because then I become consumed with the work that it takes to try and make sure that it continues to fit neatly in that box....I become resistant to letting things just be and to let them peacefully change and become what they are meant to be. I find myself becoming attached and needing to control and I start to feel icky. So, I find myself so very grateful now for the opportunity to recognize this and to allow myself to simply be me....all of me...open to meeting ever more of me...yet happy to be me right where I am.

p.s. Thank you so much for being in my life :)